Episode III: Judgement Day
Nearly three weeks have passed since Qui-Gon Jinn brought Ben Kenobi to the Jedi Academy. He hopes the Jedi Council will approve Kenobi as his new apprentice. Otherwise, the Jedi master faces life behind a desk in the mailroom.
Qui-Gon has been keeping Kenobi out of the sights of Yoda and the other Council members. He doesn't want Ben to be seen, just in case he has to dump this guy and snag another flunky. Not that that's likely to happen, though. Kenobi is proving to be an excellent learner, strong with the Force. He has been rigorously training everyday, sometimes for up to eighteen hours. His quick reflexes and physical agility are already being noticed by other Jedi masters and padawans.
One padawan has taken a particular interest in Kenobi. He approaches Ben as he's working out alone in one of the weight training rooms.
"Hmmm... 397. Not bad for a newbie."
Kenobi turns and arrogantly answers the padawan. "Yeah, I know. Pretty good, huh?" He pauses and extends his hand to the padawan. "I'm Ben Kenobi."
The padawan hesitates then shakes Ben's hand. "Khameir. Khameir Sarin."
"So, Khameir, how long have you been a padawan here at the Academy?", Kenobi asks as he wipes the sweat from his brow.
"Six years."
"Really?! That long, huh? Boy, you must be kinda slow."
Sarin glares at him in shock.
Kenobi nervously puts a piece of nicotine gum in his mouth. "So uh, who's your master?"
Sarin answers with a scowl. "Ki-Adi-Mundi."
"Wow, a Council member?! My master is Qui-Gon Jinn, whom I've heard has been here so long, he oughta be on the Council by now. But apparently he can't seem to be seated for some reason. Something to do with his crappy attitude. Have you heard anything about this, Khameir?"
Sarin hesitates. "Maybe."
The two men stare at each for a minute as Kenobi gets impatient. "Well?! Is it true? Does he or doesn't he get along with the Council members?"
"Depends."
Kenobi is becoming even more impatient. "Depends?! What kind of lame answer is that? Either he does or he doesn't. Which is it?"
Sarin continues to stare at Ben. "You know, you ask a lot of questions."
"Oh yeah? Well you give few answers. You're quite the conversationalist, aren't you?"
"I'm a man of few words." Sarin slyly grins.
"Yeah, right. I know what kinda man you really are. Quiet and sneaky. You don't fool me, I can read you, man." Kenobi intently studies his face. "Yeah. An easy-going, cool facade, while inside you're burning with rage. I don't even understand why you're here at the Academy. You're certainly not Jedi material. Why, you're nothing more than a cold-blooded, calculating, natural-born kill..."
An outraged Sarin suddenly raises his hand and uses the Force to throw Kenobi across the floor.
Qui-Gon enters the room. "What the...?! Sarin! Get out of here, now!"
Sarin turns and glares at Qui-Gon, as Kenobi lies dazed and confused on the floor.
"Perhaps you'd like some of what your boy here just got."
The Jedi master is incensed. He takes a few steps toward Sarin, as he tries to contain himself, trembling with anger.
"Don't push me, Sarin! Remember how I almost annihilated your butt the last time you did!"
Sarin sneers, then glances over at Kenobi, who's slowly standing up. He quickly walks past Ben, bumping his shoulder and knocking him back down to the floor. Sarin hastily exits the room through a side door.
"Why that little pointy-headed freak!" Kenobi starts toward the door, until Qui-Gon calls out to him.
"Ben! Let him go. His days here at the Academy are numbered."
Kenobi walks over to Qui-Gon. "Looks like you two have mixed it up before, master. Exactly who is that jerk anyway?"
"Khameir Sarin, a Zabrak."
"Hmmm... like Master Eeth Koth."
"Yes. A distant relative of his. But blood is the only characteristic they share. Sarin started out full of promise; he's very strong with the Force. But his impatience and bitterness have co-conspired to ruin his future as a Jedi. He's been given more than a few chances to redeem himself. He's even left the Academy a couple times to try to get his act together. The last time was following a duel I had with him, in which I nearly killed his crazy butt. The scars I left on him serve as testimony to the ferocity of that day."
Qui-Gon places his hand on Kenobi's shoulder. "But enough about that loser. You've only got two days left for your final preparations. I know you can pull this off, Ben. I have every confidence in you... and twenty Republic Credits riding on you." Then Qui-Gon points in Kenobi's face, "Look, you screw this up and I'm gonna..." He notices Ben starting to tear-up and tries to calm himself down. "Uh, look... just do your best, okay?"
Ben nods. "Yes, master."
~
Judgment day has arrived. Qui-Gon Jinn and Ben Kenobi are alone, standing at the center of the Council Chamber. The doors open as the Council members enter and take their seats. Qui-Gon fixes his gaze on Yoda, who is staring at Kenobi.
"Ben Kenobi, come forward." Kenobi steps up to Yoda.
"Very old are you to begin your training as a padawan. Also know, do we, of your dubious past on Taboo." Qui-Gon looks anxious as Yoda continues. "Still, despite your shortcomings, acknowledge we do, your strength with the Force. You have passed with exceptional marks all the entrance trials placed before you. However, concerned by your rebellious attitude we are, and expect you to make much improvement on that, we do. Although, given whom you have for a master, I personally don't hold out much hope for such attitude betterment."
Qui-Gon mumbles something rude under his breath.
Yoda continues. "Therefore, it is with some reservation that we accept you as Master Qui-Gon Jinn's padawan learner, Ben Kenobi."
Qui-Gon breathes a sigh of relief.
"YES!!!" Kenobi jumps for joy and grins wildly, until he notices the strange looks he's getting from the Council members.
Jedi Master Mace Windu addresses Kenobi. "Ooookay, now that you've gotten that out of your system, we will give you the opportunity to choose a Jedi name for yourself. This is the name we will call you by as long as you remain a Jedi. Take your time and choose wisely, because once you've announced it, you can not change it. If you need more time to carefully think this over, we will consider..."
"Obi-Wan!!"
The Council members look at one another. Windu looks back at Kenobi. "Excuse me?"
"Obi-Wan! I want to be called 'Obi-Wan Kenobi'."
"Okay, 'Obi-Wan'. Would you care to tell the Council the meaning behind this name, why you chose this name?"
"No reason really. It just sounds cool. 'Obi-Wan'. 'Obi-Wan Kenobi', or 'Obi' for short. Someday, I hope to be called 'Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi' or maybe even 'General Obi-Wan Kenobi'. But for now, 'Obi-Wan Kenobi' will do just fine, or 'Obi-Wan' for casual conversations. I might even allow my closet friends to call me 'Obi-baby', or maybe even 'Obi-boo'. I haven't made-up my mind about those yet."
Qui-Gon rolls his eyes and shakes his head. Windu looks over to Yoda, who is stroking his chin and wondering if the Council has made a mistake in granting this flake a Jedi apprenticeship. Maybe it's not too late. Yoda looks over to Windu, who's thinking the same thing. Yoda clears his throat, as he prepares to announce a retraction.
Suddenly, the chamber doors fly open, as Khameir Sarin bursts into the room, yelling.
"So, you've finally kicked me out of the Academy! Fine! I don't need any of you! I've just been hired by a member of the Galactic Senate! Ha! I laugh in your general direction! Ha-Ha!"
"You may think you've finally gotten rid of me, but I shall return someday and reek utter havoc on you Jedi!" He turns to Qui-Gon. "And as for you, old man... we shall meet again!"
"OLD MAN!?! Why you goat-headed little son-of-a..."
Qui-Gon charges Sarin, but is restrained by Obi-Wan. "Master, please don't!"
Sarin shouts one final "Ha-Ha!" for effect, then turns and runs out of the room.
The entire Council turns and looks over at Master Eeth Koth, Sarin's distant relative.
"Hey, don't look at me...
He's from my wife's side of the family!"
Next Time...
Episode IV:
School Daze
Episode II
Episode IV
Georgette's World Star Wars Picture Humor